Everyone has their hit and miss moments…

My marriages were the misses. My divorces were the hits!

Look if you don’t have humor with regard to the absurdities of life, then there is no point crying over it.  There is no prince and if  younger women are out there looking for one, chances are that  they will end up having kids before they are ready, and getting a broken heart to boot.  They will be lucky to get child support if he leaves the picture.  As for you guys–the same goes for you too.  Women leave kids behind and take off quite a bit nowadays–and a lot of them are deadbeats too. 

There is one trend that I think has NOT changed with the advent of the Women’s Rights Movement and that is the sheer fact that many younger women today still wrap up their identities in their partners. They still hear the old fairy tales such as “Cinderella” and “Sleeping Beauty”–as if these should be a standard staple in the feeding of their young minds.  From the time I was ten, I knew there were no princes.  I knew there was no castle.  I also knew that men and women are both capable of telling some very big lies. Schools would be better off having them watch something more realistic–like “The Dollmaker” or “The Ditch Digger’s Daughters”.  Those encapsulate the reality of  two different eras. I can relate to those women.  Besides that, I figured that “happily ever after” was just another lie since my parents didn’t live that way.  They divorced when I was nine.

I also knew that there was no magic–until one day when I picked up a pen.  I began to write about things that actually happened, using fictional characters and as I wielded the power of a sword, cut away all the villains in my existence stroke by stroke, word by word.  At one point I even wrote with a quill.  There was just something magical in the creation of  a series of worlds and the construction of the lives of these characters.  I used the quill because I wanted to feel what it was like to actually use an ink well and such–like they did in another time and in another place.

It was many years later that I read that journalizing was therapeutic.  Whoever contrived a theory on it in the psychiatric journals should give me a cut of what they made off of that. I could have told everyone that when I was 12.   I could be going through hell, but by the time I wrote down what was coursing through my brain and my veins,  I rose like a Phoenix from the ashes and it would look like that scene from the Shawshank Redemption–especially when the teacher gave me an A+.  I never could write on a journal topic either.  I could attribute that to the punk rocking person inside of me, or the sheer stubborn pride of my Irish/Comanche heritage.

Now as an adult, I am going to go to other countries.  I am going to teach, but I am also going to learn.  One cannot be an effective teacher unless they are a willing pupil, and there is more to this  life than the existence most of the people who I know have resigned themselves to.  I have seen all that I need to see with regard to human nature where I am.  I have dealt with the best of people and worked among the worst.  I have seen the best of times, and the worst of times.  I have seen the ordinary and the unusual.   I am still thankful for all of it.

I have more writing fodder now than I ever did at 12–after going through some of the worst…There was more to come but at least I survived.  I raised myself for the most part from the time I was fifteen.  What do I need a “prince” for anyway?  I can make my own money.  I can take care of my business. Oh!  I almost forgot! There is that nagging question I get of “What about love and sex and all of that?”

What about it? If you want it, go for it.  If I ever find that person I want to be that close to again, I’ll think about it very strongly–but there is more to life and relationships than that.  There may not be a prince–but I do believe in a concept of two hearts beating as one–with one mind and a united front when it comes to goals and such.  If you have that, then you are the luckiest person on Earth.  If I don’t find it, then I am quite alright alone.  I am used to that. The last thing I will ever do is put a ring on my finger again for it to become a shackle later on.

If I ever marry again, it will be because I will be ready for it. I will also know that I am with the right person–if there is such a thing.  It’s not like I need a prince, but I do believe there is one thing that everyone in life wants, and that is to be loved for the person that they truly are.  If  a person cannot accept you as you are, and starts trying to get you to change into another life form in order to fit into their standard of what they think a partner should be–it’s time to call  it a day.  That is not love. Love doesn’t confine you as if you were in a prison of another person’s making.  Love is not forcing your partner to fit into places they feel uncomfortable either.

Well, there is my opinion on love and relationships–for what it’s worth. If it’s screwed up to you, maybe you’re looking for the “prince” or the “princess” that doesn’t exist. If you are, good luck. You’ll need it! I am now off to my mountain! Bye!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. daphne
    Dec 13, 2010 @ 02:45:53

    love this blog….i can relate to alot of it!!


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