Live Chat with Billie Dunn Cancelled @ Last Minute *UPDATE @ BOTTOM*…

If you are interested in participating in a live chat with the mother of missing Colorado City teenager Hailey Dunn, there will be a live chat with her mother Billie Dunn at 5 p.m. CST today.  Just go to this link and follow the directions.  Questions and comments will be monitored for content.   There is an update on the latest as well, including Clint Dunn’s efforts to get information out about the case and in the search of his daughter on the website.

Here is the link:  http://bigcountryhomepage.com/fulltext/?nxd_id=345916

Well, I just got home a few minutes ago and saw that she cancelled the web chat at the last minute to go out of town with relatives…I will stay nice for now.  I hate last minute stuff as it is.

A Glimpse Into A Pre-Awakened Life…

The leaves were turning various colors as Kit began her daily walk to school.  She recounted the events of the evening prior as the dark circles under her tired eyes didn’t reveal the more traumatic events of that point in time.  She had just walked in from school and went into the kitchen.  She was about to get a glass of water when a torrent of shit came out of what seemed to be nowhere to hit the fan.  This was one episode of rage from step-bitch #3 that Kit was not prepared to deal with.

“You little bitch! Why were you late?!,” her stepmother Karen screamed as she picked her up and threw her against the cabinet,”I told you to be here by 3:30!”

“We don’t get out of school until 3:30 and you know how long it takes to walk home!” Kit, for whatever reason snapped as she rose to her feet.  It was different this time.  She was becoming defiant in the face of the witch that constantly bullied her.  She had enough of it all.

“Don’t you threaten me!” Karen snapped as she pulled her by her hair and threw her into a wall across the room this time.

Kit stood back up and ran for the back door but Karen caught her…With that she dragged 13-year-old Kit back toward the counter and pulled a large wooden spoon out of the drawer.  She tried to hit Kit but missed and it broke on the counter so she slapped her hard across the back of her shoulders and knocked her to the floor.  Then she grabbed her and threw her again.  She didn’t know her own strength, but Kit was small for her age and she landed against the wall again.  She then picked Kit up by the front of her shirt and got into her face and yelled, “You will never talk back to me again!”  Then she slapped her but Kit refused to cry.  She slapped her again.  Same response.

“Get in your room and stay there you little–”

Before she could finish the phone rang.  It was the school.  They needed Kit to come back up there because she left her change purse with her money in it in the gym and it got turned in.

“Oh she’ll get it as soon as she comes back. I’ll be sure to tell her.” Karen told them in a sweeter tone of voice than she would ever use in a normal setting.

Karen didn’t tell her but the principal called her into the office and gave it to her.  He then saw a mark on her face at her jaw line.

“What happened Kit?” he asked.

“Dodgeball at P.E.” she lied.

“You sure about that?  Kit nobody has the right to–”

“That’s what happens when you have all grades in a P.E. class together.  It’s one of those things.” she shrugged.

She then went on to class, but the principal knew she was lying.  However  back in the 1970’s, unless it was talked about, nothing could be done.  Kit went inside the house quietly and slipped into her room.  She hated everything about that room.  The dark green window shades were like bars to her.  If Karen ever caught her with any of those shades up, there was hell to pay.  The walls were white and the carpet tan–but it was the shades that made it seem more like a prison for Kit.  Until Karen and the onset of puberty, Kit could look out her window at the birds and flowers just outside her window.  Then Karen put the shades up while she was at school one day and told her, “If you open these shades, your ass will get beat!”   It had been like this since she was 12.  The first year wasn’t as bad, but this particular year, Karen always went off of the deep end over anything and took it out on Kit. 

Kit was sore from bruises Karen left on her this particular day.  She stayed in the room and pretended to be asleep when Karen looked in to see if she was indeed there.  Kit was so sore that she could barely move, but her father had to work late that day.  Karen then went into the kitchen and drank her usual–sloe gin mixed with 7-up.  She then took a handful of various pain killers and such.  Kit saw this happen daily and it would always be the day after that all hell broke loose. 

Kit stayed perfectly still and waited for quite some time.  She then crept quietly out of her room and across the hall into Karen’s room.  She had reached her breaking point. Although every movement was painful, she was very stealth in her movement.  She opened the top left hand dresser drawer in that room.  All the windows were open and the curtains as well.  This did NOT make a good impression on Kit either. 

She reached into the drawer and pulled out a silver .22 caliber pistol.  She knew it was loaded because Karen made sure it was every time she threatened Kit with it.  One time she hit her with the handle of it because she was reaching for anything she could grab in her maniacal rage. 

Kit was shaking now.  She had tears forming in her eyes, but it wasn’t because of the beatings as much as it was the rape earlier in the year–when Karen wouldn’t hear any negative talk of her cousin Michael.  In fact, Karen believed anything a boy told her as gospel.  It was always girls that bore the brunt of the bullshit. Karen said they were going back to visit that aunt the next week and that is when Kit snapped.  “I will never go back there.” she thought as she took the safety off of the pistol, while remembering every detail of the two times Michael had forced himself on her and raped her. It happened once when she was 10 and once again just the past summer when she was 12.  NOW Karen wanted to visit Aunt Tess again–and in Kit’s mind, she was filled with dread while experiencing flashbacks to the memories of both incidents–not wanting to get out of the shower after either time.

Trembling, Kit took the safety off of the pistol.  Still wearing her Bay City Rollers T-shirt that her brother Jack purchased for her, she raised the pistol and pointed it right at Karen’s left temple and was about to pull the trigger.  She trembled with fear and then, suddenly, she stepped back and lowered the pistol.   It was as if she heard or felt a presence in the room telling her that she couldn’t do this.  She felt that presence also tell her that things would not be the way they were for very long.  She quietly crept back to the dresser and stuck the pistol into the drawer. 

She then crept back into her cell and cried herself to sleep.  Years later she would understand her thought train much better than the 13-year-old mind she possessed at the time ever could have:  “If I had shot her, then I would become her. I am not going to be like her.”  

She also was throwing up the night before and ended up staying with her grandmother.  She learned how to make herself very ill when it came to going to Tess’s house.  Sometimes she threw up at the mention of Michael’s name directed at her–like when Karen came back the first time after Kit faked being ill and said, “Tess misses you and Michael would love to see you again.”  As much as Kit hated Karen for not listening to her, she hated her more because the comments to her were like rubbing salt on an already wounded and slashed soul.  On some days, Kit would rather endure Karen’s physical abuse than hear the mere mention of Michael’s name.

Within less than a year, Karen would kill herself with the very gun she tortured Kit with again and again.  More beatings and such were endured, but Kit knew she would make it.  Ironically, Kit feared guns and had never handled one prior to that evening.  She was one of two in her entire family that didn’t have interest in firearms, until Karen came into their lives.

As a Parent Myself, This Piece of Info on the Hailey Dunn Case Made Me Ill…

In short, they found kiddie porn images and crap with S&M on a computer seized from the home and more from his grandmother’s house.  I will not express my thoughts here since (coupled with a migraine from Hell) would not serve much purpose.  Here is a link to the story.

http://bigcountryhomepage.com/fulltext/?nxd_id=346446&shr=addthis

Slowly, it Evolves…Victims Can No Longer Isolate Themselves.

Slowly, it Evolves…Victims Can No Longer Isolate Themselves..

Never Believe Anyone Who Says “IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!”

This is especially true if you are being served alligator.  I tried it recently.  All I can say is–NEVER AGAIN!  I will admit the cocktail sauce made it a little better…However, while I am NOT opposed to trying anything new at least once, I can now cross this off of my “bucket list” of things I have never done before, and shall NEVER do again! 

I am taking an online TESOL course.  My snack of choice tonight was good old-fashioned POPCORN!  I am now going to go to bed and put on my earphones. It is time for me to tune out the world, the rotten news going on in it and just chill out for the night! Tomorrow I will be back on my mountain and working out a double again!  Have a wonderful evening and PLEASE, alligator is good for handbags, but I do not recommend it for supper!

The Mountain Embraced Me Today!

Yes! You heard it here! I got to walk my mountain today for the first time in a very long time!  My spirit was joyous with every step on my 2.25 mile trek, and I got to see a few finches and sparrows!  They seem to hang around.  I didn’t get to see any cardinals or blue jays, but I once again heard the all familiar rustle of the mesquite beans as the wind brushed them with its warm fingers and then went through the grass.  It was a great symphony of sounds and silence!  I love it when I can just go up there, enjoy the sunshine and listen to everything. 

I feel so alive when I come home from the mountain because the peace it gives me is perfect. I feel as though I am experiencing an embrace, as if I had a strong shoulder to lean on and share things with.  That is the only analogy I can come up with to describe it. I have left an entire life of negativity behind me, and discovered the person I would like to be in that process.  Learning not to depend on others for my identity is a terrific thing.  I can stand alone, yet know I am not because others reciprocate that beautiful flow of energy.  When that mountain embraces me as it did today,  I realize that I am one with it and it with me, and even God has made it that way as far as I am concerned.  It is my duty to help others as I am able.   Now I do still get into the occasional political debate, but it does not change who I am even for a second. 

As I walked, I noticed that nothing is blooming yet, but I did crawl out of my hole and I saw my shadow.  Then I realized a few things on that mountain.  Sometimes birds signal that protection is there…While I was at my mother’s house last week, I saw a blue jay.  Then I saw another one.  I didn’t know why but I felt that everything would be alright and felt a peace about coming back home again.  I found out today that in a lot of Native American tribes, the blue jay being present is a sign of  protection.  My mother always feeds the birds.  In turn, they give her peace of mind, I think.  They definitely gave me that.

There are days on which I wonder what my purpose really is.  I think we all do that.  I feel that mine is to find ways to help others find their own peace.  There are so many good people in the world  who cannot see the good within themselves because they carry guilt around about past mistakes and such.  It took me many years to understand that today is the only thing over which we have some dominion or control.  Many times  as we focus on this present, the past likes to throw up the darkened shadows of our past into our faces.  This dark shadow, or spirit, likes to tell us “You do not deserve this or that!” and all to often, we are dumb enough to listen to that voice.

When the time is right, what you really need will return to you in some fashion because of your own good spirit.   It may be a simple matter of the idea that someone needs someone who not only loves the good qualities about him or her, but who actually believes in the magic he or she can produce.  Everyone can create their own type of magic.  It may come in the form of the kind word during a time of loss, or the lifting of your brother’s spirit when he has lost his faith in himself.  Sometimes all that brother needs to know is that one person believes in what he can do, and then he can see the light at the end of a tunnel.  A kind word can go such a long way toward this.  Many people turn to drink, saying they enjoy it, but it is really the escape from the dark shadow that is lurking behind that they are trying to avoid. 

Light will kill darkness every time.  Most of the time, if one really listens, his (or her) footsteps move toward that person, or those people who come their way in order  to lift their spirits so that they can carry on.  A person who really loves and cares about that person will be the one staying sober to drive this brother (or sister) home when partakes too much of the booze.  In time, as the love grows, he may not need to lean toward that dark shadow as much.  It will kick up worse for a while and try to hang onto him out of fear, but when the light of the person meant to be there is at its zenith, the darkness has to go back and the person can reach out in faith for help.

As the wind embraced me and the sunlight planted its kiss upon my forehead, I discovered that as I have healed, I can use this for others.  I am not able to cook really well, but I can provide a strong shoulder to lean on and let a person know why I feel as I do.  In other words, I can be that friend people really need.  That way I am paying respect to the mountain that never fails to embrace me and to teach me all that I need to know about this life, and those who will come into my path to enrich it.   If I can give them just that wee bit of light to get them through the day,  then that is the best thing that I could ask for, isn’t it?

I truly hope that all of you have a wonderful week!  Don’t forget to tell your loved ones that they are loved, and do not forget to spend time with the child(ren).  It is your light that might just enable them to follow a right and just path in life.  When we are old, only then we see how these life lessons have helped them.  The only important thing we need to remember is that we may not see why it is important to be good right away because if everything is in a circle, like the seasons, love, life cycles, etc…Then whatever you give will ripple outward like the rings of water produced by a stone being skipped across the pond or thrown into it.  It just depends on how wide a scale your one-act can reach.  Either way, others are somehow touched by that energy (I think) and then it just radiates toward the people intended–only to return later like a boomerang, but much more smoothly (and gently)! Good night all, and Happy Valentines Day!

Decision is made-Despite the Voices in my head!!!

I am going to resume Insanity workouts when I get back home.  I will order Brazil Butt Lift too!  Why not? I have nothing better to do with my time when I’m not at work…If you want to know anything about that, email me and/or friend me on FB.

Besides while I am waiting for the weather to get WONDERFUL again, that is if the Russians will quit playing with their bloody electromagnet so the ice will melt,  I can still find a place to go to get in touch with nature and such.  Cold weather really doesn’t stop me…Hold on! What do you mean it’s the Chinese playing with the electromagnet now?!  Why is it you want to blame China for everything from our political woes to not being able to buy anything Amer–what?!  What do you mean a lot of our clothes come from Pakistan, India or Viet-Nam?  Well, I’d rather buy from China than Pakistan…What’s that?  Only buy American?  Tell me where I can buy American made stuff that doesn’t have parts of it imported from–YOU GUESSED IT!  CHINA!

What?  What do you mean we have nothing made domestically anymore? I KNOW that’s a lie!  Wanna know how I know?  Because the soap I buy is home-made from Strawn, TX!  Yes!  There are still companies that make their own soaps, candles, jewelry and such domestically!  Now I need for you to quit popping in my head because you are NOT the voice of reason! You can google it and find the site–it’s the only soap co. in Strawn, TX.

Whew!  Isn’t it amazing how those thoughts can creep in?  Anyway, back to my original point–SHUT UP! I AM TIRED OF YOU POPPING UP IN MY HEAD NOW SHUT UP ALREADY!  There…Dealt with that voice in my brain…Anyway, where was I? Oh yes! Brazil Butt Lift and Insanity 2 a days…This should get very interesting huh?  I’ve been iced in too long and will head home today! 

I’m getting ready for the summer, baby!  Some beach…Somewhere…Is waiting for me to park my butt on an empty chair~!  Have a great day!

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