Never Believe Anyone Who Says “IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!”

This is especially true if you are being served alligator.  I tried it recently.  All I can say is–NEVER AGAIN!  I will admit the cocktail sauce made it a little better…However, while I am NOT opposed to trying anything new at least once, I can now cross this off of my “bucket list” of things I have never done before, and shall NEVER do again! 

I am taking an online TESOL course.  My snack of choice tonight was good old-fashioned POPCORN!  I am now going to go to bed and put on my earphones. It is time for me to tune out the world, the rotten news going on in it and just chill out for the night! Tomorrow I will be back on my mountain and working out a double again!  Have a wonderful evening and PLEASE, alligator is good for handbags, but I do not recommend it for supper!

Advertisements

Decision is made-Despite the Voices in my head!!!

I am going to resume Insanity workouts when I get back home.  I will order Brazil Butt Lift too!  Why not? I have nothing better to do with my time when I’m not at work…If you want to know anything about that, email me and/or friend me on FB.

Besides while I am waiting for the weather to get WONDERFUL again, that is if the Russians will quit playing with their bloody electromagnet so the ice will melt,  I can still find a place to go to get in touch with nature and such.  Cold weather really doesn’t stop me…Hold on! What do you mean it’s the Chinese playing with the electromagnet now?!  Why is it you want to blame China for everything from our political woes to not being able to buy anything Amer–what?!  What do you mean a lot of our clothes come from Pakistan, India or Viet-Nam?  Well, I’d rather buy from China than Pakistan…What’s that?  Only buy American?  Tell me where I can buy American made stuff that doesn’t have parts of it imported from–YOU GUESSED IT!  CHINA!

What?  What do you mean we have nothing made domestically anymore? I KNOW that’s a lie!  Wanna know how I know?  Because the soap I buy is home-made from Strawn, TX!  Yes!  There are still companies that make their own soaps, candles, jewelry and such domestically!  Now I need for you to quit popping in my head because you are NOT the voice of reason! You can google it and find the site–it’s the only soap co. in Strawn, TX.

Whew!  Isn’t it amazing how those thoughts can creep in?  Anyway, back to my original point–SHUT UP! I AM TIRED OF YOU POPPING UP IN MY HEAD NOW SHUT UP ALREADY!  There…Dealt with that voice in my brain…Anyway, where was I? Oh yes! Brazil Butt Lift and Insanity 2 a days…This should get very interesting huh?  I’ve been iced in too long and will head home today! 

I’m getting ready for the summer, baby!  Some beach…Somewhere…Is waiting for me to park my butt on an empty chair~!  Have a great day!

Forgiveness anyone? 1/30/2011

Is anyone in a forgiving mood tonight?  What?  No?  Well I can relate.  I constantly get asked “Why are you mad?”  when I am not mad.  I also get asked why I am upset, when I am really NOT upset.  Have you ever had one of those days where nearly everyone and their well-meaning mother asks you if there is anything they can do to help you to “feel better” when you have tried to convey that just because you are having a moment of unusual quiet, does not mean that you are sad or upset? Well, I had one of those days today! 

What?  Are these people clairvoyant now?  Does everyone have an enquiring mind that really must know the “glory of my story” or something?  There isn’t much to my life.  I get up.  I feed a cat. I work.  I go home. I go to bed.  I get up. I feed a cat. I work. I go home. I–wait a minute!  Are you saying, “Kadja…OH KADJA!  SSSSSSSSSSSSHUT UUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!” yet?   I would be if I were you, since it’s beginning to sound suspiciously like Cheech and Chong in this paragraph…

Anyway, I am still a little reclusive.  I am not NEARLY as awful about it as I was two years ago, but I’ve still got a way to go.  Next month’s goal, to go to a live play again–ALONE instead of holing up in the house.  I tend to get upset if the acting is less than what I expect, but I think I can lower my expectations down a notch or two and enjoy it. It isn’t even so much the performances I get pissed off about as it is the writing of the scenes–I mean, a writer should make the scene real enough that people can believe it is possible.

This bullcrap with Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise where she’s around the front of the motorcycle shooting two pistols is NOT something that could happen.  Anyone who has ever fired a shot knows that pistols are not “point and shoot’ mechanisms  like a shotgun is.  You have to line up the friggin’ sights to know that your aim is correct, and unless you are  Mr. Wayne or Mr. Bridges (From the two adaptations of “True Grit”), you aren’t going to hit jack shit while trying to fire two pistols–let alone if you are riding a motorcycle or a bloody horse!

I would be extremely lucky if I didn’t fall on my ass shooting a shotgun,  or break a wrist  shooting a .44 magnum!  Well, I guess I am lucky.  I haven’t fallen on my ass shooting a shotgun…Haven’t tried the .44 yet~! ;-D  Since I no longer work in a correctional facility, I don’t see a need to do so. 

Now that I have thoroughly baffled and befuddled you by making you think that this was going to be some prozac induced post about how miserable my life is, can you PLEASE forgive me for going into this diatribe on bad writing?  I certainly hope so.  I think all of us are guilty of it at one point or another.  At least I didn’t go into the sins of film editing–like the seven shot six-shooter! Oh wait!  That is for another day!

Some Things Should NOT be on a “Bucket List” at Certain Ages!

This question is one that nags at a certain woman who I have to deal with  on occasion.  Does anyone really make a “bucket list”?  That not so humble servant from the far side of someone else’s netherworld just had to ask…One thing was completed on hers as of the end of 2010–going ice skating, and she had the bruised ass to prove it…Here is a piece of friendly advice.  If you are a 40-something year old  broad whose dreams tend to land her on her ass so hard that you think it might break–skip the dream in question.  After all, it can happen to you now can’t it?

The evidentiary picture could mysteriously get posted on here, but it is not worth insulting the audience by letting it’s members view a blue moon–especially one that isn’t so attractive. Now if she had Cindy Crawford’s ass, she might reconsider that one.   The worst part about making the decision to do this is that the broad can’t even claim that she was drunk since she does not  normally drink anyway!  She did think about taking it up the next day, though.  It was definitely a struggle to get her battered and bruised body off of that friggin’ bed!  If she does take it up, it will NOT be in public, that’s for sure.

Now back to the bucket list.  Have you done anything on your list (if you have one) that you wish you could go back and UNdo?   Well, there is a way to do so–well, sort of…When you write about it, make out like some other crazy bonehead who looks just like you did it!  It can be said with certain accuracy that the broad I mentioned earlier wishes she could go back and undo her stupidity because she also put a strain on her hip-joint in the same fall!  She can also probably tell you that even childbirth didn’t bother her as much as sitting down for the next couple of weeks did!  Her legs went right out from under her and she landed right on her hip and tailbone! OUCH!  It hurts thinking about it.

If you think there MIGHT be something on your bucket list that might be a bit hazardous for you to be trying, the broad’s advice to you is to cross the damned thing off really fast!  If you don’t and decide to get stupid anyway, then make sure there isn’t some relative with a camera around to blackmail you with!  According to the broad’s kids, this is how she was positioned right before she hit the bloody ice:

She had a dangerously similar fall--and for once her family was right! She should have stayed the hell home!

 

And she will never, ever be so stupid as to try to do this crap again either! My hats go off to all the professional skaters (like the one above) who make it look soooooooooooo damned easy!

Wordless Wednesday…For once? Well, hopefully captions don’t count!

Next Star Trek Creature or your future father-in-law?

This is what happens when you mess around with the transporter beam!

 

Now this says it all!

 

NO THIS ISN'T FRIGGIN' BROOKLYN! HELL FINALLY FROZE OVER!

 

Hey Cadbury! CHECK MY BUNNY!

 

 

Just the eyes of one of my favorite bloodsuckers!

Ahhhh....Some beach....Somewhere...The perfect place to be!

Wordless Wednesday? I’m doing it early! Well, other than the captions–maybe…DEAR HOLLYWOOD:

Hey Hollywood! Put this guy to work! This guy has GOT to be the most underappreciated actor on this planet right now! Get off your butts and put him to work HERE!

Captain Honor and the Dishonorable Jive *Reality Check*

Okay…Let’s be honest here.  Who has NOT heard of this guy already?  This is the navy captain who made a series of videos that NOBODY seemed to have a problem with until DADT was done away with.  He has been doing this for 4-5 years. Then they were labelled as gay and female bashing videos.  I’ll leave the link up here and you decide for yourself, but here is my stand on it.  This guy does SATIRE.  To be honest, I’ve seen worse stuff on the Comedy Channel and they are all up in arms at the Pentagon over THIS?  And if the American people think THIS is female or gay bashing, where the hell is the outrage of Kanye West’s new video where he’s killing women and carrying their heads around and crap? Oh, I forgot, SOME call that art.  Our taxpayer money is going to get wasted to bash an otherwise stellar career over satire? C’mon! Really?!  If that is all they can think of is how they are going to crucify the guy, they need to get a life of their own–PRONTO and that especially goes for the person who put it up on Youtube as a gay bashing video! 

I watched this video.  First off, the prosecution (IF there is one) will have to prove that he did  misappropriate government supplies and time to do this.  If he did it on his off time,  they can’t say too much about that, but if this guy had a buddy of his from a film outfit bring a camera on board to shoot this, they won’t be able to prove misappropriation either.  At worst, he might get charged with conduct unbecoming of an officer.  

The Pentagon/Government/President needs to ask itself this before they crucify this guy.  Do any of these guys need Captain Honor’s help make THEM look bad?  No.  They did that all by themselves anyway.  I feel that the commanders above this officer did, in fact, over react and the media (being true to form) blew it all out of proportion.   This guy made light of SEVERAL topics in the video which you will see for yourself, but I do feel the “proctology” thing went too far.   You’ll see what I mean on that toward the end, but, again–it  is off-color  humor/SATIRE and it is obvious that nobody meant any harm by it.  I also think the powers that be in the Pentagon are merely playing the “CYA” game.  For those of you unfamiliar with that acronym, it stands for “Covering Your A**”.  

Now if anything worse gets put out there that proves me wrong, I will retract this and write a new article, but for now, there isn’t enough evidence that this guy did anything other than make an ass of himself–which comedians are known to do from time to time. Now I have another question.  IF they really thought that this was an incident comparable to the Tailhook Scandal, why didn’t they get the guy FOUR years ago? What about the people who knew?  There is NO way this went on that long with nobody knowing in the upper chain of command, despite what is stated on this video.   Come to think of it, this video reminds me more of something along the lines of an absurd, military version of “Jackass”. 

Some of you will find some of it offensive–I personally don’t like that “proctology” bit at the end.  However, I am not ready to feed this guy to the wolves because someone else wants to use him for a whipping boy.  If they do that, then the military is going to look worse than it ever did.  This guy DID boost morale…You’ll see that in here too.  All of these people were picking at each other a bit.  SO NOW what is going to happen to the cohorts who were with him, as well as those WHO were shown in the film?

Here is my prediction:  They will all be discharged, get together, get a good manager and end up on the Comedy Channel and/or SNL–or strike a deal for their own rogue network or comedy show based on this stuff.  Bank on it! This will definitely go viral, and there is nothing the military can do to stop that.  Too many people downloaded it and copied it already. Here’s another question:  What if some of the cohorts who are behind this with him are, in fact, homosexual?  What will they do to those?  Quite frankly, there are more people bashing each other on major channels on TV than there ever will be on Youtube.  None of it has caused lynchings or murders yet.  The spirit of these was to incite laughter, not to start hate riots. That is the nature of SATIRE and if the upper echelons of our military and government are not aware of this, they need to get a refund on their college degrees because someone definitely short-changed them in their English Literature  classes.

Oh, and by the way, can anyone explain why the hell Glenn Close is so upset over it all?  Oh, and one more thought…If they DO make a comedy movie based on this guy–I hope Robin Williams will play the part!  This would be looked at in the same light as “Good Morning Viet-Nam” anyway if they did it.

In tribute to this crazy rogue captain, I shall go and read Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”…If you haven’t read it, you should. It might open your eyes to a few things!

Just a footnote:  I’ve seen David Chappelle AND Carlos Mencias say things as bad, if not worse that what is in this video against various things.  What is the deal with people getting all up in arms over THIS guy?

Here’s the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WopAHvbg9LU    A pic of this guy is at the bottom, but I left you some other satire examples (and these will probably offend you more than this guy will)…

PLUS links to 2 of David Chappelle’s most famous clips to illustrate how some satire is more whacked than others:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHFUH_frhBw        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKd35EmCIx8

AND 2 links belonging to Carlos Mencias: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8_Rhz8NlL8    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLKI0FKr-_s

Now that satire is well-defined for you! Have a great week!

Previous Older Entries